I have a "problem" i always get stressed in exams so i sometimes read questions in the wrong way, which leads to me getting low grades even though im good in that subject. Parents often believe it's their responsibility to motivate their kids to care about their grades. In these parents' purview, their children are incapable of doing anything for themselves. Smothering your child will lead to resentment later in life, and it is not a healthy way to raise children. I hope there should be some laws to abide to these, it has kill more dreams than death itself, I am a victimand mine I suffered divorce too so it has become more difficult for me even at 26 and I'm still struggling with it, I hope people see the light at the end of the tunnellets help make this world a better place(heal the young, heal the world). But nope not to them. My parents are annoying and overpowering horrible people. I think the other parents wanted them to practice with me but I was just a girl so they put me in left field. But it's not enough for them!!! If they don't value your life, Someone else will and most importantly God does. By secondary school I was under-performing and lacked confidence. Many parents are threatened and nonplussed if their children's abilities and characteristics are different from their own. Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless. Guest I'm gonna turn 30 in a few years, and my relationship with my parents has continued like this for what feels like an eternity. So it doesnt really even out when my parents point out my flaws. My mom is not as bad as my dad. My mom didn't even practice with me. Give them help if they need it and don't put undue pressure on them to get good grades at all costs. They don't even care and they yell at me, telling me that i'm being dramatic, calling the scars on my arm "stupid", and telling me to my face, "If you commit suicide, we wont attend your funeral because we would be too embarrassed to have such a stupid & useless daughter." Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. The hazing at Scouts, Cadets from other kids, bizarre and inhumane. i also forgot to add i really badly wanted a phone im 14 and my cousins are younger then me and also there are some older then me i planned of what phone im going to get of coarse apple i told my mom and she said that she doesn't have enough money for it and then my cousin asked the one who is a year older then me she is getting him a phone on black friday last year my mom got phones for my aunt and one of my cousins, i remmember when my mom gets mad she tells me to die and that if i was dead it would be easier for the family and that she wouldn't have to constantly yell at me my mom says that im a disgracful peice of shit to this family, funny how all 10 describe my parents your typical asian parents also such a coincidence my mother was talking to my younger cousin over the phone she's i think 12 and im 14 and she's comparing her and my sister with me always telling my flaws to others and making a bad picture of me i feel humiliated and disgraced of myself i hate myself of who i am now i think of myself lowly now my self esteem is destroyed now no matter how much i talk back to that voice of negitivity i lose every time it proves to me that this is what I am a peice of shit and nothing more my mother never shows her love to me it was always my sister and my mother and father only care about my grades that is it i struggle with math and i stepped from a D to an B and then something happened between witch caused me to drop my grade down to a D again and they gave me a 2 hour lecture about how im nothing without my grades and that if i don't step up my grades they will send me to a hostel my hobby is art is shut down i live art and no one can stop me from doing what i love so lunch at school or secret art classes is the only time i get to do the thing i love, Amazing how all 10 describe my parent i guess that's just typical asian parent(chinese descent), all my school and university of my choice got shot down, all jobs,hobby, and things that i like to do,even if i tried taking over the family business like they themself WANTED all shot down, demanding a perfect girlfriend,all my female friend got shot down no one can stand my parent,and they demand grandkids,now i don't even want to marry or have children, i tried talking to my grandma and other relative that is "higher" in position than them,they talk to my parent,then they change for the better for about 1 week..after that they become worst than the last and how dare i talk about bad thing about them to the relative and shaming them, i tried bringing them to the psychologist,they got advice bla bla,same thing happen 1 week wonderful parent,after that they become worst and worst, i tried cutting off contact and they harping to all my relative and acquaintance of how ungrateful and bad children i am,if i really want to cut off from them i have to cut off from other family member and friend that i have or they will try to find out where i am from them and destroy my life again and again and again, oh and how super religious they are how active they are in church they are literally think themself as holyman that cannot do any wrong,smiting me for how evil i am but they are not looking at the mirror themself of how they think they are servant of god and how they really act,i even tried talking about their situation with the help of the bible i quote some verse and they smite me again about how dare i use the bible against them. Those who are constantly compared to others have a diminished sense of individuality and ultimately come to believe that they are worthless. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. She is a small minded, petty person-IGNORE her! If that doesn't pan out, seek a counselor's help. Instead, parents should encourage their children to pursue their dreams and let them figure out if their dreams and goals are reachable or impossible. 2 Andrew Weill three grown children at least Author has 24.8K answers and 188.3M answer views 1 y Related Why do parents believe that grades are more important than mental health? "when will that thing you ordered arrive?" You have no idea how much this sounds like my relationship with my parents. Haven't seen or talked to them in months now. She is emotionally abusing you & you don't have to take this. What to do when your parents are obsessed with your grades Dear Carol, All my parents care about are grades. Well, continuous harping about mistakes to a child is tantamount to abuse. Shitty since I've to put up with them till I can afford my own lodging + am their only offspring - so am the only one to respond to their old age woes which is not far away in time. That is how I feel but I am shy to talk about it. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. its just too much, i cant go on living like this and i get frequent suicidal thoughts. I have tried talking to them calmly and they, especially my dad just don't listen. They still came in first, they didn't need me anyways. And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. They gave me a opportunity to do it up on a stage. You are lucky they provide a roof over your head and food for your stomach. Many parents believe that they are only guiding and helping their children when in fact, they are causing harm instead. Then after a few years, I decided to take classes in community college. Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? Discover short videos related to my parents only care about grade on TikTok. He exemplifies the immature parent. They claim they want me to be happy and content but it just blankets what they're really thinking. I have never even had a girlfriend not that I'm ugly but timid I lack social skills to approach a lady. They control how long she's on her own computer, and they had made the excuse of not wanting to be "empty nesters" even though their oldest daughter has already left. Fortunately I have a wonderful mother (who is also criticized by my dad all the time). Please see a counsellor & DISASSOCIATE yourself from your "family." What iconic squad matches you and your besties? every single conversation turns into grades somehow, and that isn't even an exaggeration. I think part of me is always looking to die. Not being in your child's life can greatly impact there self-esteem and self worth, it can make them feel like they're not worth anything, even your time. I cried as I was scrolling through this article. Don't do it!Don't listen to those thoughts. I now only see her so that I don't get cut from her will, but I'm emotionally divorced from her. Poor city, doctors flee from here. (i'm the eldest) i also remember trying to open up to my mother but that didn't end well either. Support the choices they make and the lifestyles they want to live. Really thankful for it, I've been trying to be super human. Children of overprotective parents don't develop the skills to succeed in life. Say so. Since I was 20, I've been living with my grandmother who has Alzheimers. what I do have is an adulthood and much of my teenage years of my mother telling me to never settle for a job where I worked in a place like a supermarket store unskilled position low end job in fact my mother put so much pressure on me not to do anything that she considered beneath me or a dead end job that I never got any experience and whilst I do have quite a bit of education no one will hire me now inevitably when she dies which will be anytime soon I will be left with being unemployed and completely alone how I wish I had a family how wish I had a wife and children and how I wish that if I did have kids I would only want one thing for them above all else I would want them to be happy with their own lives, not the life that I wanted for them, but the life that they wanted for them. And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. It's sad that for a while I liked about where I worked and what I made. That was embarrassing to me as what could I have done ?! Went to Mazatlan every summer for about 1 month at least everyone of those 18 yrs. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Answer: Discuss the matter with a relative & perhaps report your mother to a human services agency which deals with child abuse. Click HERE to win them all! My mother commented that she never knew I was smart, but it changed nothing in her attitude towards me. My family puts me down and make me feel horrible to the point where I feel like killing myself. The sleeping pills vanishes but then I couldn't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion. Im sick and tired. I don't know what's wrong with me. now i am grown i wonder how can you do that to someone you love talkless your own Child - The Other Day my own father asked me WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE , Talking about my first girlfriend and how i failed - What do you think you have achieved !! I know school can be difficult and you will mess up quite a few times. i know i do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes. Im 10 and all of this has happend to me. Parents expect many things from their offspring, but the most valuable thing in their eyes is good grades. An extremely conscientious A student of average ability may have to study all night to obtain those A's while a C student of above-average ability may be bored with school and have a more relaxed attitude towards their studies. by | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser | May 25, 2022 | why does kelly wearstler wear a brace | diy nacho cheese dispenser Truth. My mother was given away by her parents as an infant, then taken back at ten years of age when she was old enough to work and be considered useful. Then I was expected to babysit my siblings and cousins full-time. You have to start preparing for highschool and I am in 6th grade! However, it does quite the opposite, and many such children feel worthless. Demeaning and comparison by parents is so much that most of the kids starts doing what others are doing rather then choosing their own profession. Instead they were far too often sordid and filled with a sort of silent emotional fury. I'm just about to turn 35, I have no wife and I have no children. These are the books we're crushing on this winter, 6 valuable lessons we learned from the Frog and Toad books, The difference between young adult and new adultand why it matters, Your step-by-step schedule for the ultimate New Year's Eve, 5 holiday dessert recipes you need to start making every year, 5 things to consider in your college search, Affordable birthday gifts your bestie will love, How to *actually* get stuff done when you're tired. What should I do? It was how my mom and dad were raised. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 14, 2018: All this broils down to parental insecurity, when parents need to control every aspect of the children lives to assuage their fears. Do you mean they don't make the figures you want me to make? There is no need to take a negative tone when speaking to a child about the mistakes they have made. This results in a child's poor self image. I have a stored temperdue to being suppressed and snubbed from even showing negative irritation, get blamed for everything they do or that is not of their limited paradigms, heavily criticized for not wearing what clothes they got me (out of "love") or for keeping even a 2 day stubble. Question: Why do my parents get mad at me for being sad, grumpy, or having a mental breakdown when they are the reason for my mental pain? Also suggest that she speaks to a psychologist, clergyperson, or counselor. I'm not telling you my name on February 02, 2018: Is it healthy if i normally make good grades and I get grounded for one F until I make a B? I got to see them again after a month. Direct a movie and we'll give you an iconic film to binge this weekend. Im not really praised as much as my sister is. My parents were so invested into themselves and their own problems, I've only realized this while now in my late 20s. And all through that time, my parents and other family members tied to Grandma all thought I was taking advantage of her. I read a lot of self-improvement books to get thru hard times. If your parents didn't care about you they would have kicked your ass out of the house. Until my spirit was broken, I had a few good kicks as a kid. They never practiced with me. Dear Carol, But for me I can't keep up with that and my average is an 85% which is not the best. Doing this will allow the child to develop competence and a positive sense of self. I'm super curious and I just want to know the why but then I am always talking back. DON'T LISTEN to SMALL MINDED people! now i have reason to believe that my parents are horrible. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. (which really ticks me) My friends, people who actually spent time with me actually know about me. For those who are like me feeling depressed and helpless sometimes, you are not alone. I get a 92 and she gets mad at me. There are parents who believe that they know what is best for their children. It is FREE! I can't even have a sleepover. Those whose characteristics are different from the parents' are viewed as a threat to the familial, social order. They are of the belief that there is safety in following the prevailing and/or majority opinion. The relationship between me and mom also is destroyed and i just want to get away from her asap my mom keeps yelling at me and comparing me to my sibblings i things its super anoying and everytime i dont get something right she eather hits me or yells at me i feel like i have low self estam. I also have PTSD if that is no surprise. Probably because for my public school career I was bullied. There are some parents who believe that their word is law and etched in stone, and that might equals right. It is hard to excel in school when you feel pressure on all sides. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 07, 2018: Have your father get custody of you. God bless. last bit would be that my mother wouldn't praise any of the good i did, she would be so uninterested that slowly i just stopped caring for my family's approval while also stopping what i loved doing. Explain to them why it is important that they listen to you as a parent but give them some leeway and some freedom as well. Published: Jan. 18, 2023, 4: . WOW!! He must have picked up on the feeling that I didn't belong. Disassociate from your mother. I having suicidal thoughts many days,I tried to suicide but I still failed,I don't know I am worthless and meaningless or important for their life.They made careers for me that Engineer,But I want to be game developer.I never get praise,I am 23 Years Old Now.I want to kill myself and I can't face the stress anymore! They just might be unaware of what is going on with you. Once she told me you will never be a boy so stop pretending to be one. It! do n't get cut from her 's wrong with me but I was,. 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